How to write the perfect condolence messages and sympathy cards
Condolences are among the most difficult things to write. What should you say? Or not say? How do you strike the right tone? This article offers some guidelines. The full list of more than 100 example condolence messages is online here.
Sympathy card message writing tips
The first part of writing a sympathy card is to make sure the words are heartfelt. This means that you are not just saying “I’m sorry for your loss” or something like this, rather you should take some time and really express how much they mean to you.
- In addition, it’s important to write in a tone that conveys the right emotion. If someone has recently passed, you may want to use words like “peaceful passage” and “safely.”
- Writing a sympathy card can be difficult because there are so many feelings that come with it — sadness, anger, regret. If this is the case for you then I recommend taking some time to talk out these emotions, and settling on what it is that you want to express.
- Keep in mind that while we can’t always know exactly how the person reading feels about your message, they will be grateful for any effort put into writing one. So don’t worry too much!
The second part is about how to sign your card
- Use a pen with an ink color that contrasts with the envelope. This will make it easier to find in sorting piles later on.
- Write your name, followed by “sincerely” or “yours sincerely.” You can also write something like “[Your Name] from [Organization]” if you’re sending a group sympathy card for work.
- Sign at the bottom right of the front side of the card, and then fold up towards yourself as though addressing an envelope (this way when people sign they’ll be able to see how much room is left).
- Address your letter below where you signed, but don’t put any stamp or postmark information until after everyone has finished signing; sometimes cards can be changed at the very last minute.
- Write the date of when you’re sending it below your name, and then put a line where people can sign their names
- Wait about two minutes for everyone to finish signing before you seal up the card with an adhesive strip or glue. It’s best if only one person seals so they don’t need to worry about sealing over other peoples’ signatures.
- If there are any blank lines left on the back, write “thank you” in large letters; this way anyone who signs after will know how much room is available.
The third part is all about etiquette — it will give you a better idea of what to include in your card and how to send it most appropriately.
- Include something that expresses sympathy, such as “I’m sorry for your loss” or “My thoughts are with you.”
- If you know them well enough, talk more personally by mentioning specific memories from when you knew them: this could be through an anecdote shared between friends, funny moments at school, etc.
- Don’t forget to sign and date the card! And don’t add anything else besides an address if sending via mail because additional information on the envelope can be read by anyone.
Helpful links and resources
Grief can be hard to navigate, but it’s not something anyone should face alone. Please share these links with someone who might need them.
- Bereavement help, online grief counseling, and online grief support: the CDC provides this helpful page of bereavement-related links, many of which are specifically tailored to people grieving after the loss of a loved one due to COVID-19.
- Scholarly research on grief and bereavement: read more about the latest bereavement research here.
- Sympathy cards: these beautiful Lovepop sympathy cards and Blue Mountain sympathy cards will make your message stand out.
- Why use the plural “condolences”? And not just “condolence”? As this Wiki page explains, it’s similar to the way we day “regards,” “best wishes,” and “greetings.”
Originally published at https://www.psychnewsdaily.com.
